A Lot of Words

On my list of impossible Christmas wishes is getting my novel published. I didn’t state it as the one thing I really wanted when my Sunday School Class asked the question, as Casey Slaughter was insightful enough to observe. Why wasn’t it the first thing that came to my mind? I guess it’s still hard to have faith. It’s tough to believe that it’s more than just a dream.

But with God, all things are possible. He whispered the idea for this book into my ear and then provided me with the time to write it. He can find a way for me to share it with the world.

He did help me to find a paying job, such as it is. I ended up working as a nanny again. It has three advantages:

1.) I can drop Grace off in the morning and she can walk to my job after school. No childcare expenses. Early dismissals and school holidays aren’t a worry. She can just stay with me.
2.) I like children. And I don’t have to sell insurance.
3.) NAPTIME! This sweet baby girl takes a two and a half to three hour nap every
day, like clockwork!

But at the time of the job offer, it wouldn’t become available for a few more weeks. So I had the security of promised employment, but more time to get my novel written! I truly believe this opportunity was a gift from God, and another way for Him to confirm that this was exactly what He wanted me to be doing.

Every minute during those weeks seemed precious. I skipped meals and bathroom breaks to make more time to write. I only had until three o’clock, so I had to make every second count. In a matter of eight weeks, I wrote twenty-nine chapters or approximately 80,000 words.

Once I began working as a nanny again, production slowed to a crawl. It took me over a month to complete the last four chapters. But I was grateful for all that God provided. My final word count was approximately 93 thousand words. And I loved every second of it!

And—guess what?—I don’t have to sell insurance!

Maybe my Christmas wish will come true in the New Year…

Do you recognize God’s blessings when they come?

A Glimpse of the Good Life

Even when God doesn’t provide, He provides. No job opened up. Once home from vacation, I began writing like my life depended on it. After Grace started school, I had from nine until three almost every day… Well, after I spent an hour or more applying for jobs or attending interviews, checking email and Facebook, and paying the bills or completing errands.

But I did have a few solid hours a day to do nothing but write. And it was wonderful!

I was always afraid that if given the chance to write every day, the inspiration wouldn’t show up. I mean, it’s one thing to do some creative writing for an hour or two at a time, and another thing to do it all day, every day! In high school and college, I wrote intermittently when time allowed. After I became a mother, it became even more intermittent. This was a rare opportunity to dedicate myself to what I loved. And every day God kept the inspiration flowing.

Those who really know me know that it takes a lot to get me excited. I’m one of those, “Oh, that’s nice,” when others are like, “Oh, wow!” So for me to get really excited is saying something. Every day, during those hours of writing, I felt joy.

My husband thinks I’m a nutcase for not only being content, but joyful, while spending hours on end in the solitude of my room on my computer. But in those moments with my Google history research on one screen, my Windows Document on another, and a Thesaurus in my lap, I feel in perfect harmony. I feel complete, absolute joy. As if I am doing exactly what God created me to do.

And a bag of mint M&M’s just makes the moment that much better.

What brings you joy?

Don't Feed the Bears

In August we took a road trip to Yellowstone National Park. We drove out to the Badlands, then on to Ben’s parents’ house in Wyoming, and then continued on with them to Yellowstone. We planned to sleep in a tent, but his parents were afraid we might get eaten by bears so they shared a camper with us. Good call.

For weeks God had been telling me that I had a message to share and He wanted me to write it in a fiction novel. But I had given up on writing, and I told Him so. I’ve encountered enough criticism and rejection in my previous efforts to leave me wounded and completely discouraged.

Finally, just before our trip, I said: “All right, God. I’ll write a novel for you. But I don’t have a single good idea in my head. If you truly want me to share my message through a novel, You’ll have to give me the story line.”

Then one night while we were in Yellowstone, Ben forgot to close a window in the camper. It was SO cold that I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. I didn’t know a window was open. I just thought it was that cold outside!

I lay there trying to fall back to sleep when suddenly words starting forming in my mind as I watched a story playing out. It was the story line I had asked for. The words for the first two chapters came to me that night as I lay wide awake, shivering, wondering if the rustling sounds outside the camper were hungry bears prowling around in search of food.

And as we drove twenty-seven hours back across the country, I found the details for the story beginning to fill in. The good news was that I had a novel to write! The bad news was I wasn’t very good company for Ben.

But he had mint Oreos and music, so he was ok.

Has God ever given you an idea in the middle of the night?

Not a Freak, Just Unique!

I was staring unemployment in the eyes. Current job ending, no new job lined up. My husband encouraged me to pursue a new career, to do something that would bring me joy. But what was that?

Only insurance companies were interested in me, since I used to have an insurance license. But let’s be honest: there’s a good reason (or two) that I let it expire.

At this precise time, my Sunday School Class went through a study on discovering who God has made you to be so that you can serve Him better. We took a myriad of tests: Myers Briggs, Strengths Finder, Spiritual Gifts, and a worksheet on Finding Your Passion. The only thing we didn’t evaluate was our zodiac sign. I guess Virgil Fenters didn’t think it was necessary.

I felt like I was having what is known as an “Existential Crisis,” asking questions like why am I here and what is the meaning of my life?

The results of these tests didn’t yield any new discoveries, only confirmed what I had known all along. I am not made to sell insurance or plug information into a computer.

According to Myers Briggs, I am “unique.” Which is the nice way of say weird. I’m an INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judgment). It’s the rarest of all personality types. I share it with 1% of the population. Which is, of course, why no understands me!

But INFJ’s become writers, counselors, teachers, and activists. We’re all about changing the world for the better. I like to think deeply, feel profoundly, and am driven to make a difference. I love spending time learning about the Bible, about history and psychology, and I love language and communication. And all of these elements come together in the genre known as Christian Historical Fiction.

God made me to be a novelist.

What has God made you to be?

Dislike Waiting

Isaiah said “Blessed are all who wait.” Whatever. We all know waiting stinks. Even worse is when there’s no guarantee that you’ll even get what is you’re waiting for.

Unfortunately, waiting is an unavoidable part of life. But God has a plan and a purpose for the time spent in expectation and longing, and if we let Him, He can use that time to smooth out our rough edges and prepare us for what lies ahead.

I’ve wanted to be a novelist since I was a teenager. I wrote my first novel when I was fifteen. Completed a trilogy by the time I graduated high school. Finished another novel during college. After I had my precious baby girl, time to write became scarce, and then it wasn’t long before the upheavals of life sapped my emotional energy.

I dreamed of being published before I turned twenty. After marriage, motherhood, and divorce, I changed that goal to thirty. Now I’m aiming for getting published before I turn forty. That sounds worse when I say it out loud.

Anyway, I sure hope all that time spent waiting and growing has helped me to write a better novel.

Now I wonder when God will teach my husband to wait for his Christmas present.

What is something that you’re waiting for?

The "Jubilee"

It’s not like Cherries Jubilee. It sounds far more sweet and cheerful than I am. It’s actually an idea I discovered in the Bible.

“This fiftieth year is sacred—it is a time of freedom and of celebration when everyone will receive back their original property, and slaves will return home to their families.” Leviticus 25:10

This is my story of second chances, healing, finding hope, and learning to dream again. Sometimes we’re lucky enough—or God is gracious enough—to allow us to have a second chance at happiness after we’ve made some pretty stupid mistakes. I’ve made my fair share in this lifetime, and I’m probably not finished with them yet. But despite the wrong turns I’ve taken along the journey of life, God has stayed by my side and led me into a better time and place.

Luckily, I didn’t have to wait until the fiftieth year. I’m not quite that old yet—despite the blaze my husband set on my birthday cake. I’ve still got about a decade and a half before I get to the fiftieth year… But God has given me the chance to try again now to listen to His call for my life and to obey it.

So, I'm going to chase the dream of sharing my heart and soul through the written word. For real, this time. Really...

If you had a second chance in life, what would you do with it?